When Will You Wake up?
A Case of Mistaken Identity

A man awoke to find himself in a room he didn’t quite recognize.  Nothing was certain expect for an unexplained dizzy feeling.  All around him were mirrors, closets, and tables with trays of different-coloured makeup.  The place was familiar but what was he doing there?  Anxiety began to seep in as her struggled to remember.  But remember what?  This was obviously the dressing room of some large playhouse, but what was his role? Each time he looked into the mirror he felt a stab of pain, because he wasn’t quite sure who was looking back at him.  He felt suddenly alone.

Not knowing what else to do, he ran over and opened one of the closets.  Inside he found a stiffly pressed, well-decorated uniform that obviously belonged to a very important general.  He liked the strength of its appearance.  Perhaps this was his costume.  Quickly he dressed himself and stood at attention in front of one of the large dressings mirrors.  His heart sank.  This was a bold wardrobe indeed ... but not his.  As much as he didn’t want to, he took off the uniform.

He tried another closet. This had in it a gaily coloured costume from a circus.   Not wasting a minute, he jumped into it.  Not good.  Besides not fitting him, the costume made him look and feel like a clown.  His desperation mounted.  He tried another closet.

This time a statesman.  Next closet a bum.  On and on, he went through the closets.  Very little fit well, and if it did, it didn’t feel right.  He came to the last closet.  Should he open it?  His heart raced.  As he reached, he felt his heart start to spin in tight circles that were drawing him in.  He fought to hold on.  After all, this closet must be the one holding his costume.  It was the only one left.  As the door opened, he gasped.  The closet was empty.  This was too much for him.  He sagged to the floor.

When he awoke, it was to the sound of concerned people all around him.  There was a nice cool cloth on his forehead.  Someone was asking him if he was all right.  His head ached slightly. Then, for a split instant, terror gripped him as he remembered looking in vain through all of the closets.  Just as quickly, a feeling of deep calm came and washed away the fear.  The calm stayed.  He remembered who he was.

It all came back to him.  Earlier that evening, while making his rounds prior to opening the playhouse, he had slipped in the dressing room and knocked his head.  The blow had made him temporarily and painfully forget that he was the owner of the theater, not one of the characters acting on his stage. – [1]

Does this story “feel” familiar?  Are you You, or are you playing a role, trying to “fit in”; trying to get the approval of some closed or far ones; or trying to avoid their rejection?  Some of us have lost contact with our True Selves. We end up losing large chunk of our lives trying different roles or identities.  We usually do so by consulting the ‘outside of us’ and avoiding looking at the ‘inside of us’ where our True Answers are.  Why do we do that?  Because of our fears, anxiety and self-doubts which are all signs of being disconnected; disconnected from what is true to us; disconnected from our True Selves.  In other words, we are disconnected from God.

The owner of the theater awoke.  The question of us is when will we decide to wake up?  The challenge I found with many who don’t know their true identity: they don’t know that they don’t know who they are.  It is kind of amnesia resulting from having assumed a false identity without even knowing it.  How does that happen?  This will be, God willing, the topic of another post.

The lesson this story teaches us: anxiety, self-doubt, and a host of other despairing inner states rush into the spotlight and take over the stage when we live without the knowledge of our true identity.  Once the High Self-understanding is restored into us, the painful problems that are caused by its absence effortlessly disappear.  Nervous fears about ourselves are replaced with calm self-command.  We get more grounded, an essential quality of faithful men and faithful women.

Salam,
Ahmad

Footnotes
[1]- For the book “The Secret of Letting Go” by Guy Finley.
[2]- Check the post Why Don’t You Follow Your Calling for more insights.