"The positive effect of kindness on the immune system and on the increased production of serotonin in the brain has been proven in research studies.  Serotonin is a naturally occurring substance in the body that makes us feel more comfortable, peaceful, and even blissful.  In fact, the role of most anti-depressants is to stimulate the production of serotonin chemically, helping to ease depression.

Research has shown that a simple act of kindness directed toward another improves the functioning of the immune system and stimulates the production of serotonin in both the recipient of the kindness and the person extending the kindness.

Even more amazing is that people observing the act of kindness have similar beneficial results.

Imagine this!  Kindness extended, received, or observed beneficially impacts the physical health and feelings of everyone involved!" ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." ~ Theodore Roosevelt (April 23, 1910)

The Role of Psychological Defenses in Marriage

On a conscious level, people believe they are looking for loving intimate relationships.  However, to really enjoy loving relationships, we must be willing to become vulnerable; to relax; to let our guards down.  But because we are afraid of feeling vulnerable, most of us retreat from being close and gradually, almost imperceptibly, give up the most valued aspects of our relationships.

Hey You! Allow me to introduce: Your Inner Critic

A man about to give a speech thinks: "You're going to make a fool of yourself. You're going to sound stupid. They're all going to laugh at you. Who wants to listen to what you have to say, anyway?"  A young man applying for a job thinks: "You're too young and inexperienced for this job. Why even bother writing a resume? You're never going to get a job like this anyway." A child taking a test at school is distracted by thoughts like: "You're such an idiot! You can't do anything right. You're going to fail this test."

Do you ever have thoughts like these? What effect do they have on your life? How do they make you feel when you experience them?

Nicely Said: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcYBWPCV37Q
A short video (under 2 min) by Guy Finely

Four Words to Keep you Balanced

In chapter 57 of the Quran, We read "Naught of disaster befalleth in the earth or in yourselves but it is in a Book before we bring it into being - surely that is easy to Allah.  So that you may not grieve for what has escaped you, nor be exultant at what He has given you; and Allah does not love any prideful boaster" (verses 22 & 23). 

If we remember that whenever we feel out of control in one way or another: soaring too high or flying too low, we can meet life's ups and downs with relative peace and calm.  We can always remind ourselves "This Too Shall Pass" the way the king in the following story did:

Dear All,
I recently read the book "The Greatest Salesman in The World" by Og Mandino.  I thought of sharing one part of it with you.  I hope you enjoy it
Ahmad
 
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. Muscle can split a shield and even destroy life but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men and until I master this art I will remain no more than a peddler in the market place. I will make love my greatest weapon and none on whom I call can defend against its force.
 

Emotional Dependency
The Road Less Traveled

One of the few books I read more than once is The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck.  I liked the second part of the book in particular where the author discusses love: what it is and what it is not. One section discusses a subject that I think many people need to be aware of and that is the difference between love and emotional dependency.  I did not want to edit the section so I am including it below in its entirety.  Enjoy.  Ahmad

Dependency

Why do so many people, in all areas of the business world, habitually function far below their capabilities? Why is it that employees who receive significant raises often become incompetent in performing the same tasks for which they were rewarded? It's a well-documented fact that many executives as well as their employees often react negatively to an unusual success by developing self-defeating habit patterns that undermine their achievements.

A common thread running through these examples points to an important truth about human behavior: We all exist in a state of conflict between what we would like to achieve and what we allow ourselves to accomplish.